I'm kind of the queen of bad habits. In general. I have so many bad habits, I've lost count. Gross ones, unhealthy ones, unnecessary ones, imagined ones, weird ones....etcetera. So I figured it might be kind of funny to write about them today.
1. I bite my nails. Gross. I don't remember when it started and I've made my peace with the fact that it may never stop. I remember reading Berenstein Bears and the Bad Habit when I was in fifth grade and trying to stop then. But dimes just weren't a motivator for me. Quarters maybe would have worked but dimes....h to the no. I don't even stop to pick up a dime on the street. Ok, maybe I do, but that's because I teach school. Get what I'm saying? But PENNIES, no way. I digress. It didn't help that I was trying to play Pavlov to myself AND that I was like, 11. I tried, once again to stop during my first year of teaching. I got embarrassed and stopped for about two weeks. And all I did for two weeks was think about biting my nails. I would look at my long, beautiful nails like a fiend. "I just want to bite it sooo bad. Just one nibble. Just one." I haven't tried to stop since then.
2. I am terrified of everything that has to do with dark, unseen places. Like deep water, caves, underground tunnels, haunted houses, etc. I am the biggest wimp I know. I won't go in water unless I can see the bottom and know that there are no little critters or surprises waiting for me. I won't go in dark places if I can help it. I'll wait outside thankyouverymuch. Haunted houses, forget it. My boyfriend has been saying for two years that he's going to get me to go to a really scary haunted house, to which my response is,"And then how would you feel after I shat myself?" I think I can pinpoint this one to a few different places. First, swimming in a lake when I was 8 and a fish brushing my leg and me screaming bloody murder as I tried to run through the water back to shore. Alas, Jesus I am not, and ended up with a mouthful of lake water, which didn't scare me as much as the possibility of that water having bugs in it. And being 11 and going on a field trip to a castle and my class being shut in a dark dungeon for a minute so we could see what it felt like. Bitch, I have a good imagination, I don't need it to actually happen to me to know that it sucks. Or my church when I was 10, which took place in two buildings set across a giant graveyard from each other and me being asked to carry a message to the OTHER BUILDING, at NIGHT, through a DARK GRAVEYARD. I swear to God, I saw that angel statue move fo real. Which leads me to...
3. Scary movies. I DO NOT watch them. I cried during Land Before Time. I'm a sensitive soul. That part in the Secret Garden, where the main girl hears Colin crying in the nighttime before she knows it's Colin, ruined my sleep for days. Harry Potter probably would have horrified me when I was a kid. Hey, don't judge, there's some scary shit going down at Hogwarts. I WILL make an exception for zombie movies....IF they are cheesy AND someone else is present. I guess both of these also explain why I don't like to be the leader or the last one in a line of people. The leader always has to actually see the danger and the last person is always the first to be snatched away. I'm perfectly fine with being the padding in the middle.
I guess I'm more neurotic than I thought. This might take awhile. I will write about the next 3 tomorrow.
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