It's a big one. I have a lot to say.
1. Visited the friend. We watched South Park for two hours and he made me try this hot jalapeno jelly stuff he got and I almost died. I think flames literally shot out of my throat for hours. It doesn't help that I am sensitive to spicy...as in I love it but it does not love me. I especially like Thai and Indian spicy, that's tasty spicy, Mexican spicy just hurts. Off topic. We had a good time. We laughed about how we have hung out for years and even hooked up from time to time but we have never dated. We would kill each other. But we would have great makeup sex. Eh, skip the dating and killing each other, we'll just have the sex anyway. I think the reason we get along is because we are so different. He is Mr. corporate fancy weightlifting money bags who dates perfect little blondes and I am Ms. big, loud, and inappropriate. We reside in such different worlds that it's always interesting to hang out with each other.
2. This is what I did yesterday. Ok, ready for this. It's really not that exciting actually. I slept in until noon, drank coffee and read a book while in the bubble bath for two hours, read some more, took a nap, did a load of dishes, played on the internets, texted a bunch, and then went to C's house. Wow, I love this job.
3. I LOVE where I live. I met some other neighbors tonight, two doors down. I was coming home from my sister's hair show and had to walk past them to get to my door and they say, "Can we ask you a question?" I say, "Sure." "We would like your opinion in our coffee debate." wtf? Who just stops their neighbor and says this. It's freaking awesome. "Local coffee shop or chain coffee store like Starbucks?" So, I join in the debate and inform them that Starbucks is the McDonald's of coffee but I admit to liking iced caramel macchiatos but I prefer local shops for atmospheric purposes and so it goes. Twenty minutes later.
4. My sister's hair show. Dude, an Elvis impersonator for 45 minutes? Seriously? Yes, for real. The hair show was ok, not really my scene, I think I could see clouds of estrogen and AquaNet wafting in from backstage. But I love my sister. And the Diana Ross impersonator was a 6'5" black cross dresser who OWNED that fucking stage. I want him to be my best friend. And I was extremely amused that the Britney Spears group included her foray into Sinead O'Connor land (Sinead pulled it off, Britney didn't but hey we gotta give her props for trying right?). All I gotta say is, next year when I'm performing choreographed moves to Born to Be Wild in my school's end of the year assembly, my sister better be in the front fucking row.
5. Scary story: When I was driving home from C's house last night, this dude in all black bolted in front of my car and stopped. I slammed my brakes and swerved and he ran off to the other side of the road. I pull over to calm down because I feel like my spinal column exploded. As I start to pull back out onto the road after a minute of hyperventilating and choice language, I look in my rear view mirror and some other dude in all black is running up to the back of my car. So of course, like any sane person, I hit the gas. And the dude starts chasing my car! Scary! There's like no one else on the road, there's no way I'm stopping for some creepy dude in all black who is chasing my car! I called the cops and told them what happened so they could check it out. But I was scared there for a second. Scratch that, I was terrified there for a second.
6. Sad story: Some high school kids climbed up on the roof of my school a few days ago. Their soccer coach came over to tell them to get down and one of the kids ran away and when he ran over one of the glass skylights, the glass broke and the kids fell through onto the gym floor and died almost instantly. They were not ever my students but still, how sad and horrible is that?
7. Last but not least, I ended up at the bongo tonight, after several attempted other plans. Surprise, who shows up, Mr. cool guy who I liked and then got weird. But it was ok, because we are friends now and he really is such an awesome guy and I liked talking to him. He looked cute tonight which isn't fair. I decided long ago that as soon as something doesn't work out with a guy, he should immediately turn ugly, that would help me out. So, it ends up being me and the 3 guys who I always hang out with there. And we start having this, like, writing circle thing. I don't know what else to call it. We are all taking turns writing things in my book and in this little book thing Jeff had. Song lyrics, quotes, sayings, freestyle thoughts. And some of the stuff turned really damn good. I typed it up on my myspace blog (http://ww.myspace.com/MissPolyjones). Incredible. It was a good time. It's amazing what unexpected things happen sometimes. I'm inspired, I need to start writing again and do it often.
I just didn't want to forget all this stuff. And now my allergy pill has kicked in and I'm about to land on the keyboard.
6.27.2008
6.25.2008
...the new place
Yay, I have internet now.
I am moved into my new place but not settled yet. Still have some unpacking and organizing to do. But I'm having a hard time being motivated to do so, it seems. I love this place. I am walking/ biking distance from almost everything. My neighbor is awesome. Last night we ate fruit snacks and bitched about boys. The dating pool is not better on that side either apparently. It's a cool place. I rode my bike to the Gateway a few days ago and visited the bookstore. Me and my friend, Chris walked to the club last night, had some drinks and walked home. We had girls night last week, which was so much fun. We were hanging out on the front porch and watched some guy get arrested. So yeah, fun. Wait what? Arrested what? That's right. I live across the street from the homeless shelter. So, there's always something going on. Drug deals, people stripping in the street, talking to themselves, getting arrested. It's crazy. When we were walking home last night, some guy came up to Chris and started asking him weird questions. Like propositioning him or something. It's ok though. They kind of stick to their world and we stick to ours. The neighbors tell me they have never had any problems. It's pretty chill. Except that I left my bike locked up outside and someone stole the lights off of it. Good thing I always take the front wheel off or I might not even have a bike at all. Fuckers.
I'm having so much fun! It's summer and I don't have schoolwork to do and I'm sleeping in and taking long baths and drinking coffee at night time and reading and going out. It's amazing. I feel so much better. Better than I have in weeks. Apparently this move was just what I needed. If only my house was all set up now. I'm not too worried about that though.
I think I am going to Ogden tonight to see an old friend. This old friend is a "friend." I've known him since I was probably 19. He used to be one of the popular guys at my high school and I was an art nerd. Needless to say, our circles did not mix if you know what I mean. But we met up afterwards(long story involving a wrong number, Target and a chick named Lydia). It's kind of weird, hanging out with someone who would never have even given me the time of day when we were in HS. But we have been friends for almost ten years now so I guess it's not so weird anymore. I didn't talk to him for a while because I was with Jason but we started talking again today. It's nice to re-meet old friends.
When I was unpacking I found this old book called Writing for Self Discovery. It has little exercises to help you become a better writer while also helping you explore yourself. I was flipping through it and I think I may start using it. On here. So tomorrow, I will write Exercise 1: At This Moment.
Today I noticed: two liter sodas ALWAYS go flat after two days, no matter how tightly you screw the cap on.
I am moved into my new place but not settled yet. Still have some unpacking and organizing to do. But I'm having a hard time being motivated to do so, it seems. I love this place. I am walking/ biking distance from almost everything. My neighbor is awesome. Last night we ate fruit snacks and bitched about boys. The dating pool is not better on that side either apparently. It's a cool place. I rode my bike to the Gateway a few days ago and visited the bookstore. Me and my friend, Chris walked to the club last night, had some drinks and walked home. We had girls night last week, which was so much fun. We were hanging out on the front porch and watched some guy get arrested. So yeah, fun. Wait what? Arrested what? That's right. I live across the street from the homeless shelter. So, there's always something going on. Drug deals, people stripping in the street, talking to themselves, getting arrested. It's crazy. When we were walking home last night, some guy came up to Chris and started asking him weird questions. Like propositioning him or something. It's ok though. They kind of stick to their world and we stick to ours. The neighbors tell me they have never had any problems. It's pretty chill. Except that I left my bike locked up outside and someone stole the lights off of it. Good thing I always take the front wheel off or I might not even have a bike at all. Fuckers.
I'm having so much fun! It's summer and I don't have schoolwork to do and I'm sleeping in and taking long baths and drinking coffee at night time and reading and going out. It's amazing. I feel so much better. Better than I have in weeks. Apparently this move was just what I needed. If only my house was all set up now. I'm not too worried about that though.
I think I am going to Ogden tonight to see an old friend. This old friend is a "friend." I've known him since I was probably 19. He used to be one of the popular guys at my high school and I was an art nerd. Needless to say, our circles did not mix if you know what I mean. But we met up afterwards(long story involving a wrong number, Target and a chick named Lydia). It's kind of weird, hanging out with someone who would never have even given me the time of day when we were in HS. But we have been friends for almost ten years now so I guess it's not so weird anymore. I didn't talk to him for a while because I was with Jason but we started talking again today. It's nice to re-meet old friends.
When I was unpacking I found this old book called Writing for Self Discovery. It has little exercises to help you become a better writer while also helping you explore yourself. I was flipping through it and I think I may start using it. On here. So tomorrow, I will write Exercise 1: At This Moment.
Today I noticed: two liter sodas ALWAYS go flat after two days, no matter how tightly you screw the cap on.
6.08.2008
...ok
I've spent the majority of the day being mopey and depressed. Wait, what have I done today, really? Now that I think about it I really honestly have not done anything today. I went to Wild Oats for black pepper cashews and a chocolate chip zucchini muffin. I watched 27 Dresses. I started a new book and got to pg 57. I took a shower. I let Jason take pictures of me so he could practice with his new flash unit. I don't mind being the model because then I get good pictures of myself. And I smoked two cigarettes, despite the fact that I technically quit smoking a while ago. I think if I add all that up, it does not amount to the nine hours I have been awake. So what did I do for the other few hours? I do not know. It doesn't matter now.
I do feel much better right now though, than I have all day. That's because I deleted someone from my phone. So I cannot message him even if I wanted to. And I feel like I purged myself of an uncomfortable situation. I think I have decided that I am not ready to date anyone quite yet. I am not in the right frame of mind for it. I will just overanalyze everything and make myself and the other person crazy. Which is what I did in this case. Whew. It's refreshing to get that confession off my chest. Here it is again, in case anyone missed it: I AM AN OVERANALYTCAL, SELF CONSCIOUS, OBNOXIOUS, IMPATIENT PERSON AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE. I read too much into things, I get too attached, I try too hard, I move too fast, I take things too personally, I talk too much, I apologize too much, I am not good at maintaining a sense of mystery, I don't play hard to get, and I spend most of my time doing the wrong thing at the wrong time and usually with the wrong person. There you have it. The honest to God truth. He is a really cool guy and I was not the cool girl he deserved. And that's ok. Another lesson to be chalked up next to the thousands of others. Maybe someday I will get it.
Thank GOD for dark beer, cigarettes, and everyone who puts up with my bullshit, including but not limited to, Tanica, Jason, Michelle, Andrew, and my mom.
Oh and thank God school is out because I think I would be the most frazzled, grumpy teacher ever right now because of these reasons: Red Lobster, moving, waiting for my place, packing, artist block, money, and this whole guy thing. One at a time these are easy things but all at the same time makes for one unhappy Miss H. Although, actually, if I was completely honest, my students are probably exactly what I need right now. They always know how to make me laugh or feel better. And school keeps me busy and preoccupied. I remember a really bad day and C, one of my seventh graders, says, "Miss H, you don't seem as happy as you usually are." I say, "It's true C. I just feel down today for some reason." His response, "I'm sorry you're having a bad day Miss H. But it's ok to have a bad day sometimes though, everybody does. We understand, we have bad days too. Want me to make up a joke to help you feel better?" Ok, I just made myself miss school. I wonder what words of wisdom C would have for me about having a bad MONTH.
I do feel much better right now though, than I have all day. That's because I deleted someone from my phone. So I cannot message him even if I wanted to. And I feel like I purged myself of an uncomfortable situation. I think I have decided that I am not ready to date anyone quite yet. I am not in the right frame of mind for it. I will just overanalyze everything and make myself and the other person crazy. Which is what I did in this case. Whew. It's refreshing to get that confession off my chest. Here it is again, in case anyone missed it: I AM AN OVERANALYTCAL, SELF CONSCIOUS, OBNOXIOUS, IMPATIENT PERSON AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE. I read too much into things, I get too attached, I try too hard, I move too fast, I take things too personally, I talk too much, I apologize too much, I am not good at maintaining a sense of mystery, I don't play hard to get, and I spend most of my time doing the wrong thing at the wrong time and usually with the wrong person. There you have it. The honest to God truth. He is a really cool guy and I was not the cool girl he deserved. And that's ok. Another lesson to be chalked up next to the thousands of others. Maybe someday I will get it.
Thank GOD for dark beer, cigarettes, and everyone who puts up with my bullshit, including but not limited to, Tanica, Jason, Michelle, Andrew, and my mom.
Oh and thank God school is out because I think I would be the most frazzled, grumpy teacher ever right now because of these reasons: Red Lobster, moving, waiting for my place, packing, artist block, money, and this whole guy thing. One at a time these are easy things but all at the same time makes for one unhappy Miss H. Although, actually, if I was completely honest, my students are probably exactly what I need right now. They always know how to make me laugh or feel better. And school keeps me busy and preoccupied. I remember a really bad day and C, one of my seventh graders, says, "Miss H, you don't seem as happy as you usually are." I say, "It's true C. I just feel down today for some reason." His response, "I'm sorry you're having a bad day Miss H. But it's ok to have a bad day sometimes though, everybody does. We understand, we have bad days too. Want me to make up a joke to help you feel better?" Ok, I just made myself miss school. I wonder what words of wisdom C would have for me about having a bad MONTH.
...update
So, I got a call from my new place. The previous tenant moved out this weekend so I get to move in next week. Yay! I'm so excited about it. No more waiting in limbo. A few days and I'm artspace bound. Which is also good because I have six full days off and I was honestly wondering what the hell I was going to do with myself for six days. At least now I will be busy.
About the guy situation: I'm ok. Really. I just think we tried it out and it didn't work and that's ok. I do not want to lose my friends(including him) because of it. Thats the way it goes. You hang out with someone, see if something happens and if it does fantastic, but if it doesn't, that's ok too. I just wish I knew what really happened. No matter what it is. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. I just would rather know and not have to wonder about it. I'm not mad about it, just curious. I just wish I could tell him all this.
Also, I am going to gay pride tomorrow with some friends and it's going to be rad.
About the guy situation: I'm ok. Really. I just think we tried it out and it didn't work and that's ok. I do not want to lose my friends(including him) because of it. Thats the way it goes. You hang out with someone, see if something happens and if it does fantastic, but if it doesn't, that's ok too. I just wish I knew what really happened. No matter what it is. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. I just would rather know and not have to wonder about it. I'm not mad about it, just curious. I just wish I could tell him all this.
Also, I am going to gay pride tomorrow with some friends and it's going to be rad.
6.06.2008
...stupid stuff
School is over for this year. My second year of teaching is completed. And I am officially hired back for next year. Same thing, 4 periods of 9th grade English and 2 periods of 7th grade Art. I'm excited for summer. The last day of school was pointless. I only had one class of students because my ninth graders were done the day before. So I had my one class help me clean my classroom. It is beautiful. It will remain so until probably about the third week of school. It doesn't take long. Anyway, cheers to summer. Sometimes when there is no school, I don't really know what to do myself. School occupies so much of my time and energy that without it, it feels weird and I don't really know what to do. Oh well, I will get into the swing of it. I am going to make a list of goals for this summer:
1. Prepare for next school year
2. Read all the YA books that are on my to read list
3. Read some adult books too
4. Finish up to "M" on my alphabet
5. Complete a very large canvas painting
6. Pay off my VISA card and my loan
7. Save up some money for rent through the school year
8. Start yoga class with Kim
9. Ride my bike or walk every day
10. Get back to the healthy eating habits I used to have before I became a lazy teacher
11. Move into my new place and make it awesome!
12. Go out and have fun a bunch!
13. Spend some quality me time
About my new place, what a pain in the butt this is. The woman who lives there now won't leave. She informed them that she was canceling her 30 days and wasn't going to leave. They told her that she signed a contract to be out in 30 days and that it had already been rented to someone else. Doesn't matter, she still won't leave. So, now they have to evict her and get attorneys involved. And if she still doesn't leave, they have to charge her with trespassing. In the meantime, I have to wait until she leaves to be able to move in. I was supposed to move in yesterday and now I'm just waiting. Everything is in boxes and shambles, ready to be moved and I have to just wait. Lame.
Another lame thing, I started hanging out with someone so totally cool. He is so awesome, cute and smart and funny. We like the same books and the same movies and he's a great kisser. It seemed like we were having so much fun and getting along really well and all of a sudden two nights ago he changed. Acted so distant and now he barely acknowledges me. I f-ing hate stuff like this. I have no idea what I did wrong, or if I even did anything wrong. This is why I always avoid dating because of exactly stuff like this. I don't deal with uncertainty very well. I start feeling really self-conscious and my confidence goes out the window and I start apologizing too much and trying to fix it which in the end only makes it worse. I freak myself out exactly when I shouldn't no matter how much I try not to. I'm not even attached and just wanted to have fun and hang out with nothing serious but as soon as it started to feel weird, I freaked myself out and started worrying. I hate that I do that. I'm ok now I think. I decided last night that I don't really care. What happens, happens. I'm ok with whatever. But one thing is for sure, I am not going to bug him anymore, no more pursuit from me. That doesn't seem to stop me from checking my phone though. Blah.
Enough mopiness. I need to go put my clothes in the dryer.
1. Prepare for next school year
2. Read all the YA books that are on my to read list
3. Read some adult books too
4. Finish up to "M" on my alphabet
5. Complete a very large canvas painting
6. Pay off my VISA card and my loan
7. Save up some money for rent through the school year
8. Start yoga class with Kim
9. Ride my bike or walk every day
10. Get back to the healthy eating habits I used to have before I became a lazy teacher
11. Move into my new place and make it awesome!
12. Go out and have fun a bunch!
13. Spend some quality me time
About my new place, what a pain in the butt this is. The woman who lives there now won't leave. She informed them that she was canceling her 30 days and wasn't going to leave. They told her that she signed a contract to be out in 30 days and that it had already been rented to someone else. Doesn't matter, she still won't leave. So, now they have to evict her and get attorneys involved. And if she still doesn't leave, they have to charge her with trespassing. In the meantime, I have to wait until she leaves to be able to move in. I was supposed to move in yesterday and now I'm just waiting. Everything is in boxes and shambles, ready to be moved and I have to just wait. Lame.
Another lame thing, I started hanging out with someone so totally cool. He is so awesome, cute and smart and funny. We like the same books and the same movies and he's a great kisser. It seemed like we were having so much fun and getting along really well and all of a sudden two nights ago he changed. Acted so distant and now he barely acknowledges me. I f-ing hate stuff like this. I have no idea what I did wrong, or if I even did anything wrong. This is why I always avoid dating because of exactly stuff like this. I don't deal with uncertainty very well. I start feeling really self-conscious and my confidence goes out the window and I start apologizing too much and trying to fix it which in the end only makes it worse. I freak myself out exactly when I shouldn't no matter how much I try not to. I'm not even attached and just wanted to have fun and hang out with nothing serious but as soon as it started to feel weird, I freaked myself out and started worrying. I hate that I do that. I'm ok now I think. I decided last night that I don't really care. What happens, happens. I'm ok with whatever. But one thing is for sure, I am not going to bug him anymore, no more pursuit from me. That doesn't seem to stop me from checking my phone though. Blah.
Enough mopiness. I need to go put my clothes in the dryer.
6.01.2008
...4 more days
The schedule for this week: Monday- Assembly in which I am performing in a dance and a skit with some other teachers. Tuesday- Yearbook Day Wednesday-Historians Assembly Thursday-what the fuck? Why do we even have school on Thursday, I'm not even entirely sure. It's not like we have actually been doing anything for the past week. I spent Friday with the kids who did actually attend school, which was not very many, teaching them how to play the card game Speed. I think I had about 5 kids in each class, well except for the one where I had 13. It's a waste. But we had fun. We were having Speed tournaments. I told them we could play cards but gambling was strictly forbidden. Oh we also played a game called JabberJot in two of the classes. It's a game where you pull a certain number of random pictures and 3 random words and you have 2 minutes to write a story about the three pictures that includes the three words. The goal is to be funny. We had some really good ones! It's a brain stretcher, that's for sure. My favorite one I wrote was this, "One night as I was relaxing and enjoying my hot fudge sundae by candlelight, I noticed a UFO stop outside my window. Hello! Interrupting much! The appalling audacity, I couldn't believe it! The astronaut in the UFO motioned towards his mouth and I could make out the word, "HUNGRY." So I opened the window and gave him the melted remains of my ice cream sundae and he gave me two dancing wooden mannikins that he had picked up at IKEA as a gift. Thanks...I think." The words were sundae, audacity, and astronaut. The pictures were of a candle, a UFO, and two dancing wooden mannikins. It was a stretch, I know. It was fun. Honestly, this is the BEST part about teaching...when we get to hang out like that.I get to know my students and they get to know me and we have an enjoyable time. My favorite part of being a teacher is getting to know them and building relationships with them and being a trusted role model. It's a lot of pressure too, but so worth it. It makes me hold myself to a higher standard and I appreciate that.
I have been so busy packing and getting ready to move. It's craziness. I'm so excited for my artspace, I just hate the moving part. I drove past the townhouses again last night, just to convince myself that they really exist, I guess. And that I will be there within the week. I have managed to accumulate a lot of shit over the years. Every time I move there is more and more. I'm thisclose to hiring some movers. 100 bucks an hour, I can handle that. I think.
Red Lobster blows. I was there for 8 hours and made 87 bucks because we were so dead and I had a shitty section and two tables screwed me over. A family that made a HUGE mess left me 2 bucks on 70. And, I got in trouble three separate times on Saturday. For being late, for not coming in prepared to work and for using my phone. I hate how I'm in charge all week and then I go to the restaurant on Saturdays where I'm the bottom of the totem pole and feel like I am being babysat and nagged. It's disconcerting. I went to the bar after work and was bad company because I was so tired and down feeling.
I need to snap out of this. I'm usually so bubbly and lively and I feel like a big puddle of blah. And this seems to have become my place to unload it all. I just need to feel in control again. I feel like I'm stuck, like the wheels are spinning but the car's not moving.
I have been so busy packing and getting ready to move. It's craziness. I'm so excited for my artspace, I just hate the moving part. I drove past the townhouses again last night, just to convince myself that they really exist, I guess. And that I will be there within the week. I have managed to accumulate a lot of shit over the years. Every time I move there is more and more. I'm thisclose to hiring some movers. 100 bucks an hour, I can handle that. I think.
Red Lobster blows. I was there for 8 hours and made 87 bucks because we were so dead and I had a shitty section and two tables screwed me over. A family that made a HUGE mess left me 2 bucks on 70. And, I got in trouble three separate times on Saturday. For being late, for not coming in prepared to work and for using my phone. I hate how I'm in charge all week and then I go to the restaurant on Saturdays where I'm the bottom of the totem pole and feel like I am being babysat and nagged. It's disconcerting. I went to the bar after work and was bad company because I was so tired and down feeling.
I need to snap out of this. I'm usually so bubbly and lively and I feel like a big puddle of blah. And this seems to have become my place to unload it all. I just need to feel in control again. I feel like I'm stuck, like the wheels are spinning but the car's not moving.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)