...the bongo

It's a big one. I have a lot to say.

1. Visited the friend. We watched South Park for two hours and he made me try this hot jalapeno jelly stuff he got and I almost died. I think flames literally shot out of my throat for hours. It doesn't help that I am sensitive to spicy...as in I love it but it does not love me. I especially like Thai and Indian spicy, that's tasty spicy, Mexican spicy just hurts. Off topic. We had a good time. We laughed about how we have hung out for years and even hooked up from time to time but we have never dated. We would kill each other. But we would have great makeup sex. Eh, skip the dating and killing each other, we'll just have the sex anyway. I think the reason we get along is because we are so different. He is Mr. corporate fancy weightlifting money bags who dates perfect little blondes and I am Ms. big, loud, and inappropriate. We reside in such different worlds that it's always interesting to hang out with each other.

2. This is what I did yesterday. Ok, ready for this. It's really not that exciting actually. I slept in until noon, drank coffee and read a book while in the bubble bath for two hours, read some more, took a nap, did a load of dishes, played on the internets, texted a bunch, and then went to C's house. Wow, I love this job.

3. I LOVE where I live. I met some other neighbors tonight, two doors down. I was coming home from my sister's hair show and had to walk past them to get to my door and they say, "Can we ask you a question?" I say, "Sure." "We would like your opinion in our coffee debate." wtf? Who just stops their neighbor and says this. It's freaking awesome. "Local coffee shop or chain coffee store like Starbucks?" So, I join in the debate and inform them that Starbucks is the McDonald's of coffee but I admit to liking iced caramel macchiatos but I prefer local shops for atmospheric purposes and so it goes. Twenty minutes later.

4. My sister's hair show. Dude, an Elvis impersonator for 45 minutes? Seriously? Yes, for real. The hair show was ok, not really my scene, I think I could see clouds of estrogen and AquaNet wafting in from backstage. But I love my sister. And the Diana Ross impersonator was a 6'5" black cross dresser who OWNED that fucking stage. I want him to be my best friend. And I was extremely amused that the Britney Spears group included her foray into Sinead O'Connor land (Sinead pulled it off, Britney didn't but hey we gotta give her props for trying right?). All I gotta say is, next year when I'm performing choreographed moves to Born to Be Wild in my school's end of the year assembly, my sister better be in the front fucking row.

5. Scary story: When I was driving home from C's house last night, this dude in all black bolted in front of my car and stopped. I slammed my brakes and swerved and he ran off to the other side of the road. I pull over to calm down because I feel like my spinal column exploded. As I start to pull back out onto the road after a minute of hyperventilating and choice language, I look in my rear view mirror and some other dude in all black is running up to the back of my car. So of course, like any sane person, I hit the gas. And the dude starts chasing my car! Scary! There's like no one else on the road, there's no way I'm stopping for some creepy dude in all black who is chasing my car! I called the cops and told them what happened so they could check it out. But I was scared there for a second. Scratch that, I was terrified there for a second.

6. Sad story: Some high school kids climbed up on the roof of my school a few days ago. Their soccer coach came over to tell them to get down and one of the kids ran away and when he ran over one of the glass skylights, the glass broke and the kids fell through onto the gym floor and died almost instantly. They were not ever my students but still, how sad and horrible is that?

7. Last but not least, I ended up at the bongo tonight, after several attempted other plans. Surprise, who shows up, Mr. cool guy who I liked and then got weird. But it was ok, because we are friends now and he really is such an awesome guy and I liked talking to him. He looked cute tonight which isn't fair. I decided long ago that as soon as something doesn't work out with a guy, he should immediately turn ugly, that would help me out. So, it ends up being me and the 3 guys who I always hang out with there. And we start having this, like, writing circle thing. I don't know what else to call it. We are all taking turns writing things in my book and in this little book thing Jeff had. Song lyrics, quotes, sayings, freestyle thoughts. And some of the stuff turned really damn good. I typed it up on my myspace blog (http://ww.myspace.com/MissPolyjones). Incredible. It was a good time. It's amazing what unexpected things happen sometimes. I'm inspired, I need to start writing again and do it often.

I just didn't want to forget all this stuff. And now my allergy pill has kicked in and I'm about to land on the keyboard.